Not every family are healthy. There are some families which we called toxic families or dysfunctional families. These kinds of families can break down one’s mental health to zero. Not all people get a chance to have a good family relationship. Some people get bullied, backstabbed, rejected even inside the family. If you feel any red flags on family member’s misbehaviours on you, this article will help you to confirm whether you are in a toxic family or not. In this article, you will learn signs your family doesn’t care about you and how to deal with toxic family members.
What is a toxic family?
Some scream saying, “my family is toxic”, “my brother/sister is toxic”, “my parents are toxic”. So, what is a toxic family? Family is the place which shapes us. It influences who we are and what we become. A healthy family is a place full of encouragement, equality, harmony, love, care, and many more good feelings. Toxic families are opposite to that. Toxic family only promote discrimination, hatred, bullying, abuse etc inside the family. If you are born in such kind of toxic family, you might already experience these characteristics.
In a normal family, members are attached to each other emotionally, psychically, and even economically. Its created by family dynamics. Family dynamics explain how we are attached to each other, family roles and different factors. Not every family dynamic is healthy. Unhealthy family dynamics create toxic families. When there are unhealthy family dynamics, the relationship among family members is toxic to each other. Also, family roles and responsibilities are not well defined. As an example, in a toxic family, father’s role may not be explained well. So, he may try to abuse his children. Especially young girls.
Signs your family doesn’t care about you.
Okay, now we know what a toxic family is. It’s time to find out the red flags/signs your family doesn’t care about you. In a toxic family, there may be unhealthy sibling relationships or unhealthy parent-child relationships. So, this dysfunctional family characteristics will give you a good idea to identify unhealthy relationships. Let’s learn the signs your family doesn’t care about you.
Okay, now we know what a toxic family is. It’s time to find out the red flags.
Don’t confuse this with normal parenting. Normally parents control their kids’ behaviours and decisions to make them right and good. But rigid controlling is different. Here they will track your all activities include private once. Also, they will force you to make decisions which you are uncomfortable with. Simply you won’t have even 1% control of your life. It’s one sign of dysfunctional family characteristic.
Even you do your best for the family, they will always look down at you and underestimate you. There will be no appreciation even you give your best for the family. Toxic family members will think that you are no match for them, and they will ignore your efforts. It’s a clear sign your family doesn’t care about you.
Family is the only place which we can run when we don’t have anyone. A healthy family is always full of support and encouragement. But in a dysfunctional family, you cannot find such support. Whatever the issue you have, they will not support you. This happens when the family cuts you off.
No space for privacy
We all have a private life. But when there are unhealthy family dynamics, there is no space for privacy. When your family does not care about your personal distance, it will depress you and make you stressful. They will listen to your telephone calls, and they will check your mobile when you are not there. Furthermore, you might not be able to change a dress because they might enter the room without knocking. Simply there will be no privacy.
All the relationships in the family might be unclear. There will be morality. In some families, fathers/mothers try to get into inappropriate relationship with kids. Sometimes it happens between siblings. In addition to that. Some families use their members for immoral activities. There will be no clear family roles in a toxic family. It’s one of the top signs your family doesn’t care about you.
Blaming you for everything
No matter what happened, they will point the finger at you and shout. When there is a toxic relationship between family members, each will find the faults of others are blaming them without making them right. Healthy families use discussion to correct each other’s mistakes. But here, it will end up blaming and sometimes fighting.
This is one of the worst signs your family doesn’t care about you. Ignoring can cause depression, stress, anxiety, and it might even lead suicides. If you are the victim, you might experience that others are planning things without you and they don’t expect you to be there. Also, your voice will be ignored in a family gathering. Other members will enjoy alone without inviting you. This is a red flag which quickly catches attention.
Telling harmful lies
Sometimes, even we tell lies to other family members. But we never mean to harm them through it. But in a dysfunctional family, harmful lies are common. If you are the victim, you will experience that others might tell lies to frame you for a fault. Otherwise, they will use you without telling the truth. Furthermore, they will talk behind your back and act differently when you are there. When family cuts you off, they will not care about your safety.
This is the worst sign. Abusing include verbal/mental or psychical abuse. When there are toxic relationships, and you are the victim, others will shout at you using bad words. They will tell bad things about you for other people around. Sometimes they might use you for their sexual pleasures, or sometimes they will punish you hard. Likewise abusing comes in many faces. They will not care about what you feel, and they will do everything to break your mental health. Abusing has become a major reason for suicide.
Ignore your needs
Families are there for fulfilling each other’s needs. But in a toxic family, you might feel like your basic needs are not met. We can identify ones’ basic needs as food, shelter, communication, love, safety etc. Here they will not care about whether you ate or not. Also, they will not concern about health and safety. Even you are sick, or you are under threat, there will be no support. Especially, you will not be able to fulfil the basic need for love.
Your goals and efforts will be discouraged in a dysfunctional family. No one will be there to motivate you for your goals. Eventually, you will end up leaving your goals. Sometimes they might put rules to stop you from achieving things. Discourage comes in many faces.
Encourage sibling rivalry
Sibling rivalry is common in many families. It goes away at the right time. Also, parents do their best to stop sibling rivalry. But in a toxic family, every member will encourage sibling rivalry. This will end up with fights, damages and even murders. Also, extreme sibling rivalry will cause long term or permanent toxic relationships between siblings.
Here are only 12 signs your family doesn’t care about you. Obviously, there are more than these. These 12 will give you a basic idea for the red flags. If the uncomfortable things happen continuously, we can say that those are signs you grew up in a toxic family. So, how we can face this?
How to deal with toxic family members?
Sometimes on member will be toxic, and sometimes all members will be toxic. Whatever the situation is, these tips will help you to handle toxic family members. Suicide would not be an option if you grew up in a dysfunctional family. You can learn how to deal with toxic family members.
Before taking any action, first, you must free yourself from them. So, avoid them whenever you can. It basically helps you to keep yourself away from the experiences you are getting from them. Remember that avoiding is not because you are afraid. You avoid them to keep your mental health.
Sometimes not all members might not be toxic to you. So, you can seek help from others who remains good. If it is your sibling who is toxic, you can discuss with parents and get their advice. If it is your parents, you can get help from smiling. In some cases, there will be no one in the family who remains good. Then there are family counsellors who can help you.
Stick to the goals
Don’t let anyone rush with your goals. Keep your independence, no matter what. Find a way to earn some money for yourself So that you can be independent in the family. Stick to your goals and never let them down even you don’t receive enough encouragement.
Kindness is the best reply for a one who ignores you or hates you. No matter what they do to you, show them kindness. Eventually, they will feel guilty about what they did to you. How hard is the family life, we cannot leave the family. In such cases, being kind will help you.
Spend time with good people
Good friends, good neighbours will help you to keep your mind away from your family problems. They will show how a good relationship is like. Being with them will fade away from your sadness. Never be alone when you are a victim of a toxic family.
Letting go of family
Yes, sometimes this will be the only option left. When there are bad experiences like abusing, there is no need to stay. When you are sexually, verbally or psychically harassed and no one cares about that, never stay there.
In this article, I have stated some Signs your family doesn’t care about you and how to deal with toxic family members. Yes, there are more signs and more ways of dealing. This article will basically give you an idea about what’s happening to you and how to face them.
Not everyone gets a chance to have a good family. Also, not everyone gets lucking to feel the love of family. So, you are not alone. There are thousands of people who experience the same things. Be strong